Like any reasonable human being, I find myself a bit
embarrassed by the concept of a blog like the one you are currently reading; the
type of blog that puts forth the idea that the author’s individual experience is
worthy of not only being preserved, but also being shared with others. I find
myself shirking away from the idea that my thoughts, and the events that will
make up the next few years, are worthy of being given a platform that could
reach millions of people.
I could say that I am just doing this for other people, for
my family and friends that can’t be here to witness it, who rely on me to know
what transpires in my life on the other side of the world. But that would be a
lie. I do desire this kind of platform, but not so my words can be read by
others. No, I want this because in a few years I want to be able to look back
and laugh at myself. To realize that not so long ago, I was a very different person.
It has only been a year since I wrote my last blog and already I find myself chuckling
at some of the posts. Some are painfully cliché, and some are just poorly
written.
Most of all, however, I laugh at them because they represent
a person that no longer exists. I am no more the person that wrote those posts than
I am the toddler version of myself, or the awkward teenager (some would argue
that the awkward phase has yet to end, I would not disagree). This is true not
only on the physical level, where old cells give way to new ones until
literally none of the original remains, but on a much deeper level. I simply do
not think the same as the Ethan that wrote those words. Too much experience has
come since then, every little event tweaking my outlook just a little.
I think this is a wonderful thing. Experience has honestly made me a better person, and I find it to be true of others as well. Any person that can
honestly say that they still think exactly the same way today as they did five
years ago, despite all that has happened in between is not someone with which I
would associate. This is especially true for someone my age, a time when we should be changing every day as we absorb the lessons that will make us who we are for the rest of our lives. I can say that I am light years away from the kid that started
college at Carolina, having given thought to topics I never even considered
before, meeting people and visiting places that completely changed my world view.
I hope that in a few years, I will look back at this blog at laugh. If I don't, well, then I have done something terribly wrong.
Oh, and I promise all my posts won't be this grandiose. China has a way of providing you with stories to tell.
